Hacks for relationships
Accept it… relationships are hard work. You and that person you fell in love with are different people. Spend some time in a relationship and you will both find out how different you are. Some differences will delight you and some will drive you up the wall. That’s ok.
Its about situations… you will disagree about stuff sooner or later and that can escalate into something more serious. Handle these events well and you can defuse them so you both walk away without resentment.
Resentment kills relationships. It silently eats away at the fabric of your relationship until it falls apart. So here are 5 demon strategies to defuse arguments and prevent resentment.
If somebody admits fault… LET IT GO
If you’re wrong, don’t dilute it with excuses. Apologize and give your partner a hug.
If its not you, don’t rub it in and revel in your victory. Walk over there and give your partner a hug. The hug is crucial in both cases.
Think before you speak
When a tense situation prevents from you expressing yourself clearly, stop and gather your thoughts. This will prevent you saying something you regret. Sure there’ll be an awkward silence… but that’s better than saying the wrong thing.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Don’t correct your partner when they’re wrong about small matters of fact. If your S.O. thinks Spielberg directed Star Wars… that’s ok. Its trivial so don’t tease them about it. Let it go.
And another thing – never correct your partners grammar in public.
Spend an hour or 2 putting important dates into your smart phone with alerts. Time them to alert you the day before the date if its stuff like birthdays or anniversaries so you have time to get out there and get cards or gifts. This is mainly for men. Women remember these things on autopilot.
Change stuff about you that annoys your partner
If you know something you do really annoys your partner and its not important to you, change it. For example, if you leave the kitchen in a mess when you make a sandwich, just stop doing it. Easy.
Say thank you
This goes a long way but don’t overdo it. Choose things you know your partner has put a lot of effort into and acknowledge that. They will be really pleased you know that and you’re grateful. Its easy to get complacent about roles in relationships. Don’t do that.
Have a safe retreat
Every couple living together should have a place where either of them can retreat to and lock the door. You only need one because this effectively gives both of you some quiet time apart. You can do anything you like in there. Read, listen to music, have private phone conversations or just feel sorry for yourself (sulk).
So there you have a short list of easily implemented hacks which will make a difference if you put then into effect. Also grab this great book from Amazon if you want some really powerful insights.
Have a look at more relationship hacks here
Maybe the best book I ever read on relationships is The Relationship Cure by John Gottman.