Rebecca Eanes’ has produced a small masterpiece in her latest latest book – "The Positive Parenting Workbook: An Interactive Guide for Strengthening Emotional Connection". If you're a parent - this book is about you and this book is for you. It's about seeing and identifying our own role in the problems we confront in family life. Doing this allows us to take ownership of and acknowledge our own role in the genesis of these problems. This will greatly improve our chances of resolving the problems gently and peacefully.
"While it’s tempting to point fingers at our kids, our spouse, or others for the challenges we’re facing at home, it’s essential to take a step back and examine ourselves – our past, our ‘baggage,’ our own thoughts and feelings – to recognize the role that we’re playing and how we can change it. What happened to us and, perhaps more importantly, how we perceive what happened to us plays a role in how we interact with our family members today."
Below you will find the five questions you need to ask yourself. You need to read them one at a time and spend some time thinking about each one carefully. Then ask yourself each question again and put down your own response to that question in writing.
Try not to treat this as a one off exercise but rather as a process. Go back through your answers and add any thoughts or reflections which might complement them. You can add more thoughts or answers to those questions you have already answered as you go through this process.
You should end up with a greater understanding of the genesis and causes of family problems and the role you may have played in their occurrence. Be completely honest and objective in your analysis and accept responsibility where you find it. You will end up with an enlightened perspective on your family issues and problems.
Use this to create an action plan to change the dynamic within your family based on what you have discovered about yourself.
Here are the questions...
1. Was I kind to my family members in my voice, my actions, and my presence? How so?
2. Did I uphold the boundaries so that everyone in the family was respected? How or how not?
3. Did I listen to my family members and really try to understand where they are coming from? If so, why? If not, why not?
4. Did my love get through to my child today in a way they understood?
5. What beliefs, attitudes and/or behaviors am I bringing to my current life situation that may have originated from my past?
You need to read each question carefully, then sit back and think before you answer it. This is not a multiple choice 'tick the box' questionnaire situation. You need to think carefully about each response and justify your answers honestly to yourself.
This is not a list of what you should do every day. Its more a suggested list of prompts to help you discover insights about yourself so you can get closer to your family and acknowledge where there's room for improvement. Also read this post on raising mentally strong kids and increasing your kids coping skills
If you would like to get the book you can find it below this. I am an affiliate and earn commission on sales. I can and do recommend this book to you with a clear conscience. Its wonderful. On a more light hearted note read these funniest tweets from parents here. Have a look at the raw truth about being a single mom and how to help your kids find a career they love